Sakramen Perkawinan (Part 1) - Lusius Sinurat

Gereja Katolik mengenal Sakramen Perkawinan sebagai salah satu dari ketujuah Sakramen. Hal ini menunjukkan bahwa perkawinan adalah suatu hal yang luhur.

Dengan adanya sakramen pernikahan secara lahiriah ada tanda yang menyatakan bahwa Allah hadir dalam kehidupan perkawinan dan Allah menjadi saksi cinta kasih sang suami dan istri (bdk Mal 2:14).

Perkawinan dijadikan sakramen karena kitab suci sendiri mengisyaratkan seperti menjunjung tinggi perkawinan. Bahkan Paulus menegaskan supaya suami-istri saling mencintai seperti Kristus mencintai umatNya (jemaat atau Gereja-Nya - Lih Ef 5:21-33). 

Kitab Kejadian memberikan gambaran bahwa Allah sungguh memberkati perkawinan (bdk Kej 1:28). Campur tangan Allah itulah yang menjadi dasar yang kuat untuk menjadikan perkawinan sebagai sakramen.

Menurut Gereja Katolik perkawinan itu bersifat kekal atau tidak terceraikan dan ini sesuai dengan KS (bdk Markus 10:1-12, Roma 7:2-3 dan Lukas 16:18). Pada kutipan KS yang lain ada seolah-olah semacam celah untuk melakukan perceraian seperti Matius 19:1-12, terutama pada ayat 9: "Barangsiapa menceraikan isterinya, kecuali karena zinah, lalu kawin dengan perempuan lain, ia berbuat zinah." 

Tetapi sebenarnya menurut para ahli kata di atas merupakan sisipan dari penulis injil. Mengapa?? Karena injil Matius ditujukan untuk pembaca Yahudi. Kita tahu bahwa hukum Taurat itu mengijinkan perceraian sehingga akhirnya penulis injil menyisipkan kata "Kecuali karena zinah" agar tidak menimbulkan kesan bahwa Yesus mengubah hukum taurat.

Yesus dalam injil Matius mengatakan "Janganlah kamu menyangka, bahwa Aku datang untuk meniadakan hukum Taurat atau kitab para nabi. Aku datang bukan untuk meniadakannya, melainkan untuk menggenapinya. Karena Aku berkata kepadamu: Sesungguhnya selama belum lenyap langit dan bumi ini, satu iota atau satu titikpun tidak akan ditiadakan dari hukum Taurat, sebelum semuanya terjadi." (Mat 5:17-18) 

Jadi maksud Yesus tetap bahwa perkawinan itu tetap tak terceraikan. Hal itu dapat disimpulkan jika kita membaca ayat 9 pada Matius 19 dengan kesatuan dengan keseluruhan konteks perkawinan dalam KS.

Ada yang mengatakan bahwa selain Mat 19:1-12, 1 Kor 7:10-11 juga mengisyaratkan akan bolehnya perceraian (lihat pada ayat 11). Tetapi jelas sekali dalam perikop ini bahwa kalau memang harus berpisah (= Paulus menyebutnya bercerai ) istri yang menceraikan suaminya tidak diperkenankan menikah lagi dan sebisa mungkin kembali rujuk dengan suaminya. 

Nah dalam hal ini sudah jelas bahwa Paulus mengatakan perceraian itu tidak diijinkan. Dalam Efesus 5:22-32 kita dapat menyimpulkan bahwa perceraian itu tidak dimungkinkan. Mengapa? Karena pada perikop itu dijelaskan bahwa hubungan Yesus dengan Jemaat adalah sebagai Kepala dan Tubuh yang sudah pasti tidak dapat diceraikan. 

Nah kalau Paulus juga menyamakan hubungan itu dengan hubungan suami dan istri berarti secara otomatis hubungan antara suami dan istri tidak dapat diceraikan, karena hubungan Yesus dengan jemaat tidak dapat diceraikan. Dalam Perjanjian Lama ditegaskan bahwa Allah sendiri membenci perceraian (Mal 2:16).

Dalam istilah Gereja ada istilah Annulments yang dalam hukum gereja berarti sejak awal mula tidak ditemukan perkawinan yang sah (perkawinan yang menjadi batal karena tidak memenuhi hukum Gereja atau sebab musabab yang sesuai hukum Gereja). 

Dalam hal ini mereka yang mengalami mungkin dapat menikah kembali di Gereja. Dalam Gereja Katolik jika pasangan yang menikah salah satunya ada yang meninggal maka pasangan yang satunya dapat pula kembali menikah di gereja.

Berikut kesaksian Bapa-Bapa Gereja tentang Sakramen Pernikahan :

• Hermas - "What then shall the husband do, if the wife continue in this disposition [adultery]? Let him divorce her, and let the husband remain single. But if he divorce his wife and marry another, he too commits adultery" (The Shepherd 4:1:6 [A.D. 80]).

• Justin Martyr - "In regard to chastity, [Jesus] has-this to say: 'If anyone look with lust at a woman, he has already before God committed adultery in his heart.' And, 'Whoever marries a woman who has been divorced from another husband, commits adultery.' According to our Teacher, just as they are sinners who contract a second marriage, even though it be in accord with human law, so also are they sinners who look with lustful desire at a woman. He repudiates not only one who actually commits adultery, but even one who wishes to do so; for not only our actions are manifest to God, but even our thoughts" (First Apology 15 [A.D. 151]).

• Clement of Alexandria- "That Scripture counsels marriage, however, and never allows any release from the union, is expressly contained in the law: 'You shall not divorce a wife, except for reason of immorality.' And it regards as adultery the marriage of a spouse, while the one from whom a separation was made is still alive. 'Whoever takes a divorced woman as wife commits adultery,' it says; for 'if anyone divorce his wife, he debauches her'; that is, he compels her to commit adultery. And not only does he that divorces her become the cause of this, but also he that takes the woman and gives her the opportunity of sinning; for if he did not take her, she would return to her husband" (Miscellanies 2:23:145:3 [A.D. 208]).

• Origen - "Just as a woman is an adulteress, even though she seem to be married to a man, while a former husband yet lives, so also the man who seems to marry her who has been divorced does not marry her, but, according to the declaration of our Savior, he commits adultery with her" (Commentaries on Matthew 14:24 [A.D. 248]).

• Basil the Great - "A man who marries after another man's wife has been taken away from him will be charged with adultery in the case of the first woman; but in the case of the second he will be guiltless" (Second Canonical Letter to Amphilochius 199:37 [A.D. 375]).

• Ambrose of Milan - "No one is permitted to know a woman other than his wife. The marital right is given you for this reason: lest you fall into the snare and sin with a strange woman. 'If you are bound to a wife do not seek a divorce'; for you are not permitted, while your wife lives, to marry another." (Abraham 1:7:59 [A.D. 387]). "You dismiss your wife, therefore, as if by right and without being charged with wrongdoing; and you suppose it is proper for you to do so because no human law forbids it; but divine law forbids it. Anyone who obeys men ought to stand in awe of God. Hear the law of the Lord, which even they who propose our laws must obey: 'What God has joined together let no man put asunder"' (Commentary on Luke 8:5 [A.D. 389]).

• Jerome -"Do not tell me about the violence of the ravisher, about the persuasiveness of a mother, about the authority of a father, about the influence of relatives, about the intrigues and insolence of servants, or about household [financial] losses. So long as a husband lives, be he adulterer, be he sodomite, be he addicted to every kind of vice, if she left him on account of his crimes he is still her husband still and she may not take another" (Letters 55:3 [A.D. 396]). "Wherever there is fornication and a suspicion of fornication a wife is freely dismissed. Because it is always possible that someone may calumniate the innocent and, for the sake of a second joining in marriage, act in criminal fashion against the first, it is commanded that when the first wife is dismissed a second may not be taken while the first lives" (Commentaries on Matthew 3:19:9 [A.D. 398]).

• Pope Innocent I -"[T]he practice is observed by all of regarding as an adulteress a woman who marries a second time while her husband yet lives, and permission to do penance is not granted her until one of them is dead" (Letters 2:13:15 [A.D. 408]).

• Chrysostom John -"'What therefore God hath joined together, let not man put asunder.' See a teacher's wisdom. I mean, that being asked, Is it lawful? He did not at once say, It is not lawful, lest they should be disturbed and put in disorder, but before the decision by His argument He rendered this manifest, showing that it is itself too the commandment of His Father, and that not in opposition to Moses did He enjoin these things, but in full agreement with him. But mark Him arguing strongly not from the creation only, but also from His command. For He said not, that He made one man and one woman only, but that He also gave this command that the one man should be joined to the one woman. But if it had been His will that he should put this one away, and bring in another, when He had made one man, He would have formed many Women. But now both by the manner of the creation, and by the manner of lawgiving, He showed that one man must dwell with one woman continually, and never break off from her." Chrysostom John,On Matthew,62:1(A.D. 370), in NPNF1,X:382.

*Sumber: HUKUM PERKAWINAN KANONIK MENURUT GEREJA KATOLIK

Codex Iuris Canonici (Kitab Hukum Kanonik) Kanon 1055-1165